Recently I had someone express to me her strong belief that after we die, we all experience eternally bliss and joy, and was a little uncomfortable when I explained to her that people often are much like they were when they were living after they die. Then I got to thinking, “How many people struggle with the idea of death and are confused about what happens to us after we die?” I can understand how some people need to believe that eternal bliss is the standard experience of a person after death, mostly because I have had it myself, but this just isn’t always the truth. And where does the need to believe that come from? Have you ever wondered what actually does happen to a person upon death?
Sure, many people form beliefs from what they are taught by others (parents, religions, etc.), but what I have found is that usually when we believe something, it is based on a deeper something or other…an unconscious perception or even a fear. So if someone has a fear about death, it is common to form a belief that brings us comfort about that fear. I used to believe that once I died, I would either go to Heaven or Hell, or maybe somewhere in between. And this is not an uncommon belief to have, but I think that people tend to project in terms of black and white and have a hard time looking at a bigger, broader picture.
As a medium, I have engaged in many conversations with people “on the other side”, and there has been some very common things expressed.
- What is experienced upon and after death is much different than people think it will be
- The experience(s) that are had after death are usually much better than imagined while alive
- You can change your experiences very easily and quickly while you are on the other side
If you consider the three points above, what is expressed is the fact that we have a choice. Usually people will experience what they thought would happen immediately upon death, but after some time, the person usually realizes that it is them creating that experience. So if someone believes in a specific idea of “Heaven”, and has beliefs that support them “going to Heaven”, they will usually experience a version of their Heaven, at least until they realize that they are the creator of that particular experience. The time for this realization to take place varies from person to person, and it is likely that not all people come to that realization. Those who tend to be “stuck” in an experience usually had some very rigid and longstanding beliefs and perceptions that make it more difficult to create change and see something different. But the good news is that the people who truly desire any kind of help can immediately draw help to them over there.
When a person is “stuck”, they may seek to stay connected to the physical realm, and thus usually create some kind of contact with people there, but making contact can be difficult. “Hauntings” usually stem from a person who has died and has not fully realized their power to change everything involving their experiences, including their perceptions of the experience. In fact, people who are considered to be “ghosts” very often are stuck because they do not understand why they died, or feel like a victim in their death. These are often the same people who saw themselves as victims while alive as well. People like me, mediums, are often sought after from those who are stuck because they are not sure of how else to get help. Sometimes those people need closure from a circumstance, but usually the ones who are seeking help from the physical dimension are driven by unresolved emotions, like anger or guilt. This is why hauntings often seem perpetuated by what we see as “negative entities”. Mediums can often help these people understand their options and help direct them to the necessary guidance that will help them resolve their issues and come to a better, more peaceful experience.
Sometimes people who are in a peaceful place after death choose to make contact with the physical dimension in a positive manner…they want to help. Those people have the ability to take on the role of what people refer to as Spirit Guides and Angels. With a new, higher perspective, those who choose to guide people in the physical are often working toward achieving something personally through helping others, but a higher perspective does not necessarily mean that they see everything and don’t make mistakes. These Spirit Guides usually have good intentions, but still have human tendencies, much like when they were alive. “Just because they are dead, doesn’t mean that they are smart.” That statement is fundamental when dealing with anyone from the Ethereal Realm because people seem to want to put their complete trust in a spirit, often forgetting that the human mind stays in tact after the body has been let go, and therefore, guidance from “the dead” should be considered carefully and reasonably.
So, with this being said, is there a rigid structure that is experienced upon death? No, not across the board. The Ethereal Realm is more like a blank canvas, giving people similar opportunities to expand their awareness and make choices as when they were alive. One of the biggest differences is that becoming aware of anything can happen at a much faster rate in the Ethereal Realm than the physical, typically anyway.
I had an encounter at a friend’s house this past year with some “ghosts” that can give you a better picture of what I am talking about. My mother was in town visiting and we were staying at a friend’s, taking care of her parrot. My mother, within 24 hours, had “misplaced” several of her cigarette lighters. On the second day she was outside by her truck when she heard a child crying accompanied with a loud bang against the inside of the garage door. When I came outside, she asked me why my 5 year old step son was so upset. I was confused because I was just in the house with my step son and he was perfectly content playing. My mom explained to me what she witnessed and said that the little boy that she heard in the garage yelled, “Stop that!” just after the loud bang. I went into the house to double-check on my step son, but he hadn’t left the room he was playing in. I laughed at my mother’s confusion, shrugged my shoulders and told her that she was probably hearing something other than what she thought (maybe the neighbor’s children).
Later on that day, after we had searched for her lighters without success, my mother heard footsteps coming up the basement stairs and asked me what I was doing, but I had not come up the steps. She insisted that someone walked up the steps, went into the bathroom, closed the door, and then opened it again. I laughed and said that I would check into the situation.
Within a few minutes, I was able to contact a man who had died that was informing me that he was trying to get my attention. I first asked him if he was connected to my friend’s house and he said no. He told me that he had noticed my ability to talk to the dead while we were driving to my friend’s house and that he and his family had followed us here. (I found this intriguing and a little amusing because I had a visual of being the ghosts “rushing” to keep up for some reason.)
I proceeded to ask him if it was his little boy that my mother heard in the garage and he confirmed that it was. I then asked him if he knew what happened to my mom’s lighters and he chuckled a bit and told me that his wife had hidden them. I then asked him if he would have her return the lighters and he agreed, but he asked if I would help them first. Apparently his entire family was “stuck” because they were confused and had died in their sleep…their house was set on fire by someone, which left them angry and feeling victimized. I asked the man to think of his Higher Self or an Archangel and when either appeared to him, to ask them to help him understand why the event took place and how they would be able to move on if they wanted to. He did as I suggested, and after a few minutes, the man returned to me, thanking me and asking me if he could return the favor and help me in some way. I laughed and reminded him that my mom would like her lighters back. It was then that he told me that his wife hid them because she was afraid of the house burning down and that she was protecting us from her fate.
Next, he told me to go out to my mother’s truck and look under the back seat for two of the lighters. I was only able to find one, so after a few minutes of searching, the man told me to stop and asked me to go back into the house. “You’re not going to find it in the truck” he said. So, I went into the house, telling my mom that she should be thankful to have one lighter returned to her (as a joke) and when I went inside the bathroom, there was her second lighter lying plain as day in the center of the floor. I heard the man laugh and say that he moved it so it would be easier for me to find. The man and his family “left” the house and I haven’t been visited by them since.
In this example, the family was not trying to scare anyone or cause problems, they just wanted to get my attention so that they might be able to feel better and understand more about what had happened to them. Luckily for them my mom had the ability to pick up on them because I had learned to tune ghosts out as much as possible so that I could function without constant disruptions.
So, if you want to explore your ideas and beliefs about death, you might want to try just asking yourself how open you are to someone else’s ideas on the topic first. Then write down your ideas about death and the afterlife, and consider where or whom your adopted those from. Next, consider the idea that if you experience what you think you will, are your ideas about death and the afterlife supporting having choices after death? Are they painting a picture for you that you desire? Are they rigid and unbending? Exploring your own stance on the topic can help you begin to feel more comfortable with the idea of death and hopefully open you up to a more rounded experience, joyful one.