I have been working on sharing the latest (and greatest lol) information for effective personal growth and after much hard work, I am confident that I have finally figured out the most common reason that people are not fulfilled! Yes, we are usually “Chasing a Memory” of a time when we felt incredible, were excited about life and believed in endless possibilities and things were going our way. With that being said, what happened?
Most people, when they are kids, are in a state of “love”, which means that their consciousness is founded on identifications and perceptions that are love-based, not fear based…they are self-loving. “Ah, the innocence of children…” Yes, that is correct. See, children form their identities based on what they experience and perceive from their role-models (usually parents). This means that children are making decisions about who and what they are as a person and when they come into this world, they know that they are worthy of love and begin to make decisions about themselves that support self love; and that includes abundance, opportunities, health, etc. But something tends to happen to people that literally changes them, and causes them to feel differently about themselves, and usually their lives change because of it. Now, this change usually happens when we are children, but can happen at an older age as well.
If we start out self-loving, we are experiencing fulfillment, joy, happiness and we are balanced within ourselves. That balance within makes our experience of the external world balanced and more easily manipulated towards our desires. Below is what I am calling “The formula (or equation) for the Point of Denial P.O.D.” which is where things “go wrong”. Keep in mind the following two definitions:
Denial: More realizations (identifications and perceptions) of fear than of love.
Fear: The illusion of the lack of love.
P.O.D. Formula:
Love > Experience of Pain > Perception of Unworthiness of Love > Equate Love with Pain > Fear Love > Need for Attention > Need to be Special
When you look at the formula, you first see that a person is self-loving. When that person has an experience of pain involving a role model, they form a perception that they “must not be worthy of love”, which is also a perception of not being worthy of self-love. Once that perception is formed, they begin to equate love with pain and develop a fear of love because it is now a risk. That fear of love causes the individual to reject love (which is also rejecting self-love) and unconsciously decide to obtain the “feeling of love” from outside of themselves. This decision or unconscious choice causes the person to develop a need for attention, which eventually develops into a need to be special. Keep in mind that the need for attention is needing to be important, get respect, get validated, needing to be “right” and/or declaring importance (people who feel worthy of love do not need to declare it). What it can often look like is obtaining certain superficial goals like financial wealth, the “I am better than you” attitude, “power trips”, a bigger house than their peers, a more influential status, etc.
Let me give you MY example…
Love: I loved myself, life and the people around me. I set goals, achieved them easily and had fun. I was confident, had a high self-esteem and knew that I was special, and that everyone around was as well.
Experience of Pain: At age 13, I realized that my dad was severely ill and deep down, I knew that it was going to end with his death in the near future. I also picked up on the panic that my parents felt (severe fear). I chose to ignore this experience in the hope that “thinking positive” would change the inevitable…because people kept telling us ”think positive”.
Perception of Unworthiness of love: The day my father died I concluded that if I were truly worthy of love, my father would have survived the cancer…that if I were as special as I thought I was, I would have been able to change the event with my positive thinking.
Equate Love with Pain: The night of my father’s funeral, I concluded that I never ever wanted to feel confident with love again because love was painful…if I hadn’t felt so sure of myself, I wouldn’t feel so lost and devastated in this moment.
Fear of Love: The fear of love that I formed happened just about at the same time as when I equated love with pain and began to reject feeling love, feeling good and knowing my worth.
Need for Attention: My father was ½ of my identity at this age, so when he died, in my reality half of me died as well. The only time I felt alive was when I was getting “attention” from an outside source…but that wasn’t not always reliable because it wasn’t always consistent. Once I obtained the feeling of being loved from outside of myself, I would immediately crash emotionally (because needing keeps you needing). I would then have to find another source or another way to get that attention.
Need to be Special: No matter what I did, how much “good” I did, who I pleased, I felt empty. I longed to feel special, to feel important again but I didn’t have much hope because 1. I attached that feeling to my dad and he clearly was not returning and 2. If I actually felt special, I could lose it and that was MUCH worse than just going without it. The pain was too great to risk.
What changed you? It didn’t have to be a huge traumatic event, but could have been feeling overlooked by a parent, disregarded, etc. Several clients were made to do something that they didn’t want to do and that was all it took! I have observed many, many people with this equation in mind and have been able to see it apply to just about everyone. We are chasing a feeling, a state of mind, a “beingness” if you will because we know, deep down, we had it once. Could you have it again? Yes! Absolutely. The process that I have been working with has given people incredible results…we call it currently “Soul Balancing” because your “soul” is the part of you that knows it IS LOVE and the balancing is bringing your unconscious and conscious mind back to the place of realizing itself as such.
How is it done? It is a revolutionary technique that combines the effectiveness of traditional psychology with the speed of hypnosis and the power of visualization to release (literally) the perception that you are unworthy of love and the identifications that you formed based on the experience of pain with your role model(s).
During the process, you are informed the event(s) and circumstances that supported your Denial, the age that you were when it began, who was involved as well as what you realized (decided) about yourself specifically. Once you have that information (which usually takes only minutes to uncover), you are guided through the releasing process which involves taking those perceptions, identifications and choices and using visualizations to remove them from your consciousness!
Let me be very clear on this: THIS PROCESS IS UNLIKE ANYTHING YOU HAVE EVER TRIED BEFORE! It is, to date, the most effective way to feel better emotionally, shift your focus, and change your life!
If you would like to know more about the process, feel free to get in touch with me and I will answer your questions. The entire process (done on the phone) usually takes between 1 and 3 sixty-minute sessions, depending on the individual and the past experience. This is also a process that is designed to help you become aware of and better-able to manage other self-limiting perceptions that are affecting you in different ways. Is this a “cure”? If you look at not loving yourself as a dis-ease (imbalance), it very well might be. Can you expect to wipe out every unconscious limiting thing in three sessions? Realistically, probably not, but you absolutely will feel better about yourself, your attitude will change about life and you will probably start to be able to move past those “issues” that have haunted you for years and years!
So, let me ask you this: Do you want to feel special, confident, powerful and loved? Then what are you waiting for…?
Jennifer Tavana
586-255-6685
