Fulfillment & Balance: Pt. 3

If the first step to becoming fulfilled is to consider the necessity of balance, and the second step is to understand what dynamics need to be balanced, then the third step would be to understand what those dynamics consist of. Keep in mind that our perceptions create our reality (experiences) and the perceptions that we have of anything and everything are determined by our intentions and beliefs (conscious and unconscious). The “unconscious” is defined as the part of self that you are not fully aware of at this moment.

1.  Spiritual:  Defined as “Lighter in vibration than the physical…Difficult to perceive with the five senses.”

A.  Beliefs about “God” or feeling connected to a higher source.

The first component of the spiritual aspect of life is perceptions (beliefs) about “God” (A consciousness with a higher perspective or something of the like.  This could also be perceptions about the Universe.)  When a person has negative or fear-based perceptions about a “higher source”, their personal experiences in life will be affected by those perceptions in many ways, even though the influence may be indirect and hard to identify.  Ultimately, when someone is in balance with their perceptions about God, they will not necessarily give their power over to that higher source but instead understand that they are One with that source.  This understanding will allow them to express power instead of control, for example, and allow them to move through life with a sense of connectedness; this sense of being connected to all that is (and not just an occasional thought about it) will enable them to balance the following three components of the spiritual aspects of life.  Note:  This component is a direct reflection of the “self” in the relationship dynamic.

B.  Intuitive guidance

Intuitive guidance is directly affected by the perceptions about God.  When a person is balanced in this component, they have a strong knowing of things in life.  Their intuition is often clear and strong and they have the ability to follow that guidance with very little resistance.  The knowing that they get about their guidance is not necessarily based in logic but more in a calm sense of peace and trust that if they follow their guidance, they will experience what is best for them in some fashion.  Often intuitively balanced people have things work for them on the surface with minimal effort.  This component strongly affects the next.

C.  Creativity/self-expression

Creativity and self expression are a direct reflection of intuitive guidance because creativity comes from a place of being open to receiving ideas from outside of the Self; the Universe, the collective energy around them, God, and their unconscious channel to All That Is.  Inspiration is the catalyst for creativity as well as self expression and when a person is balanced in this dynamic, solutions to problems are easily discovered with minimal effort as well as experiencing advancement in all aspects of life because they can receive the abundance that life has to offer fairly easily.

D.  Inner peace/faith

Inner peace and faith is experienced mostly when the first three dynamics are balanced because all three dynamics support a person being in “flow” with the flowing energy of life.  When a person is not balanced in at least two of the previous three dynamics, peace is fleeting and the person is often met with internal and/or external conflict and problems.

2.  Physical:  Defined as “Denser in vibration than the spiritual…Easily perceived with the five senses.”

A.  Cause & effect (taking any action will cause a reaction)

Cause and effect is important to fulfillment because if a person does not resonate with the natural effects of energy (actions/non-action, thoughts and emotions) they will tend to take action (or not) and expect a different effect than the most likely.  A person who is balanced in this dynamic will be able to use their resources and calculate a reasonably accurate assumption of the outcome of something that they do, refrain from doing, etc.  Cause and effect is often overlooked by people who have fear-based perceptions, especially when they look to traditional spiritual practices because the fear based perceptions elude them into thinking that the desired outcome will magically occur despite their actions/non-actions… “God” will take care of things for them.  This mindset displays lack of power.

B.  Physical health/the body (how well your body functions)

Physical health and the body are directly affected by a person’s understanding of the all of the previous dynamics but especially cause and effect because if a person is not balanced in the cause and effect dynamic, that imbalance will cause the person to neglect aspects of caring for the body properly.  The body is directly affected by emotional health and visa versa because the body’s functions and ability to stay healthy or heal itself directly come from the emotional energy within it.

C.  Emotional health (how you feel emotionally about yourself, your life, people, etc.)

Emotional health is often a bi-product of the perceptions because the emotions cause a person to feel this or that based on the thoughts that stem from the beliefs/intentions that form the perceptions.  Emotions are energy that is designed to be experienced and released (move through us in a fluid motion…flow) and if the spiritual dynamic is out of balance, the person will often struggle with self-expression and therefore trap emotional energy within, which causes a disturbance in the body’s health.  Emotional health which is out of balance is strongly effected by cause and effect being out of balance because people, when cause and effect are out of balance, tend to resist how they feel, judge their feelings as wrong or inappropriate or bad and consequently perpetuate the imbalance.  Someone who is balanced in the previous dynamics is easily able to accept how they feel internally, express how they feel productively and tend to appear calm, even if they are momentarily upset.  The lack of resistance to emotions allows people who are balanced to be okay with their feelings changing and this acceptance tends to make them seem fairly even-keel and stable.

D.  Social laws & rules, physics & logic (the basic structure for physical life, social and otherwise)

This is one of the hardest aspects of being balanced because it is often overlooked because it is seen as obvious.  This aspect is often taken for granted because many of the dynamics are in place our entire lives and the laws and rules, for example, have been agreed upon and used for generations, making them something that most people do not have to consciously think about regularly.  Gravity just is something that always is; we learn about it to some degree, but not learning about it beyond the “what goes up must come down” usually does not cause us much harm.  After we learn about the basic physics of our reality, we rely on our natural logic (understanding) to function well within the context of the structure.

Logic is often defined based on a particular person’s perception, experience and/or education, and because these things are subject to individual experience, judgment about what is logical varies…defining what is logical can be difficult. Because of this, logic can become a problem when we are working towards balance.  For instance, someone who has been raised to focus on the financial aspects of life might say that it is just logical to go to college, save money, budget and invest.  The spiritually based person might consider that approach to be less logical than relying on “God”, faith and other dynamics.  The broad definition of logical that will be used here is:  applying deductive reasoning to calculate and/or estimate a particular effect from a cause. Because deductive reasoning can change over time due to experiences that an individual has, what is logical for one person (or even groups of people) may seem illogical to others.  An unbalanced person would use deductive reasoning based on limited experiences and/or knowledge, (limited perceptions) and they are likely to “re-think” the reasoning if the affect was unexpected and/or undesirable.  Being balanced in this area of life would provide a person with the ability to see many perspectives and potentials, providing a much more vast understanding of the most likely affects created from different actions and because of this, allow the individual to experience more desired outcomes based on understanding what actions would produce those outcomes.  It is important to realize that cause and effect applies to every aspect of life.

3.  Financial: Defined as “The main commodity/reward received for energy spent (action taken) in our society.”

A.  Basic needs met (enough money to have food & shelter…and potentially medical attention)

To be balanced in the financial aspect of life, you need to have enough money to afford consistent, reliable shelter, such as owning a house, renting a home or apartment, etc., because the majority of the land is accounted for and owned by someone, so roaming free is not usually a feasible option.  Balance in this area also requires you to be able to afford to purchase food, or if you are supplying your own food, to be able to afford to do so.  Someone who is balanced in this area earns enough money to pay for the basic necessities of living consistently and is able to focus on the next area of financial balance; opportunity to increase finances.

B. Opportunity to increase finances (skills to offer more or different services/products and ability to take action)

Being balanced in the previous area of finances helps you to be able to focus on creating and using opportunities to increase your financial income.  This means that an unbalanced person tends to be “trapped” in a particular job, particular kind of job and likely no opportunity to make more money for their skills and efforts.  A balanced person, on the other hand, is able to increase their skills, which either allows them to advance within their current job, find a more fulfilling job, increase the amount of wages earned and can then focus on the next aspect; financial security.

C.  Financial security (consistent, reliable income source)

Most people define financial security as “the ability to save enough money to pay their bills for at least several months if their income source were to fail”.  An unbalanced person has not or does not make financial security a priority and may struggle with one or both of the previous aspects of the financial aspect of life.  A balanced person has the ability to include this aspect of life in their focus and plans ahead accordingly.  Many people struggle with this aspect of life, possibly due to the boom in using credit for purchases and spending outside of their financial ability, as well as the movement to live in the now instead of planning for the future.

D.  Financial abundance (having more than enough money to obtain additional and/or better quality material possessions and experience financial freedom)

When the previous three areas of financial balance are achieved, financial abundance is more easily obtained.  Financial abundance is having enough money to pay all your bills, putting money aside for security as well as having money left over to make purchase and increase your standard of living.  Unbalanced people tend to live in a “dream state” when it comes to their financial capabilities, hoping to win the lottery or come into unexpected money that will automatically change their financial standing without having to put effort toward it.  This is an obvious sign of financial imbalance.  A balanced person may hope to come into unexpected money as well, but has structured their efforts in such a way as to understand and balance all of the other aspects of life so that they are able to take responsibility for their financial circumstances as well as the ability to change it.

4.  Relationships: Defined as “The avenue to experience your self subjectively…centered on people more than circumstances.”

A.  Self (how one sees himself, feels about himself & treats himself)

The relationship aspect of life is probably the most important aspect because how you perceive yourself affects everything you experience. When you are not balanced, everything else tends to be effected drastically, creating massive imbalance elsewhere.  Because you are the center of your own universe, understanding yourself and truly loving yourself creates a sound foundation to build fulfillment in everything else.  No matter what, if you are truly aware of who and what you are (have a healthy, loving perceptions of your Self), fulfillment in all the other aspects of your life is much more easily achieved and maintained, and with much less effort than if you were unbalanced here.

If you consider the statement, “You can only experience love with another to the degree that you already experience it with yourself”, you will probably be able to surmise that if you love yourself, all of your other experiences will reflect that self-love, including the relationship that you have with your circumstances.  An unbalanced person in this area will tend to experience co-dependency (loving others more than loving the self), emotional conflict (inconsistent joy, sadness, anger, etc.), self-destructive behavior (neglecting the physical body or making choices that are unhealthy or harmful to the body), blame (lack of responsibility for personal experiences), self judgment and criticism (not being good enough, feeling unworthy, unmet expectations, etc.), failure and controlling tendencies.  This is the area that we will be exploring the most because most people do not recognize that they are lacking in this aspect, nor are they able to see the importance of loving the self or what that really means. A balanced person here usually is upbeat, positive and easy-going.  They feel good about themselves (authentically) 90% of the time, can focus fairly easily on their goals and usually achieve their goals.  They are self expressive, creative, supportive and non-judgmental (to others and self).  A balanced person values all aspects of life equally and lovingly puts themselves before others and is a pleasure to be around.  People who are balanced in the Self are usually an inspiration to others and are liked by just about everyone.

B.  Family (the interaction and dynamics of blood related and extended family)

Sometimes families are what we call “dysfunctional” and we struggle to separate ourselves from the dysfunction and the effects of the dysfunction.  Usually family dysfunction exists because the members of the family are not balanced within themselves (have negative perceptions of themselves).  It is important to realize that we can use the dysfunction within our family as opportunities to see our own imbalances within ourselves so that we can become more balanced.  Because of the way we learn to define ourselves based on our perceptions of our family members, family is usually an accurate and extreme reflection of how we feel about ourselves either consciously or unconsciously. Most families are involved in some type of co-dependency cycle (see later post on co-dependency), so when we find balance within our Self, we tend to break the co-dependency habits, which usually creates a much more functional and loving family structure.  Balance here opens up the flow of receiving and giving equally; being able to be supportive as well as receiving support, and be nurturing as well as being nurtured.  Honestly, openness, appreciation as well as respect are experienced when a person is balanced within themselves and the family, thus resulting in experiencing fulfillment and feeling loved.

C.  Friends (the interaction and dynamics of friends and acquaintances)

Similar to family, the relationships that we have with people beyond the family is a reflection of the balance we have within ourselves.  The slight difference between friends and family is that friends may reflect less of ourselves back to us, therefore seeing where we are not balanced by looking at our relationships with friends and acquaintances may be a little more challenging.  Not having balance with the Self usually brings conflicts within our relationships (arguing, misunderstandings, etc.)  It also usually brings about a feeling of not being understood and not being supported.  Imbalance here usually makes us feel unappreciated, taken advantage of, being used, deceived and disrespected.  Many people who are not balanced within themselves and the family tend to pull back from having many friends because the conflicts seem to be relentless and draining.  When we are unbalanced, relationships that we have with others seem complex and complicated and don’t usually flow easily.  Having balance within ourselves and the family usually opens up the ability to easily have healthy and supportive relationships with others and thus helps us to experience fulfillment and feeling loved by people in general.

D.  Intimate relations (the interaction and dynamics of romantic/sexual partner(s))

Like family, intimate relationships are often extreme reflections of how we perceive ourselves and the imbalances that we have.  Most people who look to intimate relationships for fulfillment tend to either go through many relationships or have extreme ones with many ups and downs…the emotions are extreme and the relationships are shaped by expectation that they are usually unaware of.  The more unbalanced a person is with their relationship with themselves, the more unbalanced and unfulfilling the intimate relationships that they have are; and the more co-dependant as well. Like friendships, when a person is unbalanced with the Self, conflicts arise in their intimate relationships (arguing, misunderstandings, etc.) as well not feeling understood or supported.  Likewise, he/she feels unappreciated, taken advantage of, used, deceived and disrespected. The balanced person tends to have emotionally fulfilling relationships with little drama.  They have relationships that are supportive, nurturing and ones that encourage self-expression with both parties as well as individuality.

Keep in mind that all of the above information is outlined for general purposes; more information can be involved with each aspect described and not everything described will be applicable for every person.  This information is intended to give you a general idea of what the balance vs. imbalance looks like in order to help you better explore what areas you might not be balanced in.  Be sure to check back for information that will be added on co-dependency and having balance within the relationship with the Self!

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  1. I am aware of the effort put into this Blog and well, this topic in general. I want to thank you very much for that effort. I know you don’t have to share this information, but choose to.

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