How to love the “bad stuff”

In a previous post “acceptance brings change“, I talked about changing circumstances (emotional, external, etc.) by accepting “what is”.  Let’s look at this concept farther…

When something is going on that we dislike, we resist it.  “What you resist, persists”, which means that the resistance to it keeps it going.  And the fact of the matter is that it is difficult to truly accept something that you do not like.  So how do we stop the cycle?

If you want to love something that you do not like, trying to force yourself doesn’t work, it just usually puts you into denying some part of it.  In order to get to  loving something, it is helpful to first appreciate what it is, and then you can love it.  To love it is to just not resist it, because “love is all there is”, so resisting anything is resisting love.  You do not need to fully understand that part though to make this work.

First, pinpoint the experience (circumstance, emotion, whatever) and write it down.  Writing it down is not always necessary, but it can help a lot at first.

After you locate the experience (and pay attention because you want to be very specific and often what we call an experience is more than one jumbled together), then ask yourself “How could this experience be serving me?  What have I learned from this experience?”  Make a list.

Here’s an example:

If I were having an experience of “arguing with my spouse”, I could write down the experience of:  Not feeling loved, being ignore, and fighting”.  I could also look at what the argument is about and add something else like “lack of money”.

Next, under “Not feeling loved” I would consider that this experience has probably taught me to understand love, stand up for myself, see my fears, be more compassionate towards people, value love, etc.  Just by looking at the potentials will help me appreciate “what is” going on.  I would periodically say to myself “…and?”  to try to see as much as I could from it.  The appreciation of the intention/experience will slow the energy down of it and if you are specific and accurate enough, this process can change “what is” going on now.

Next, I would just say in my head, “Love, please help me love the resistance to loving the experience of ______ (Not feeling loved in this case).  If you can not just “love what is”, then ask love to help you love the resistance to loving what is.

Keep going with the next experience you notice.  And if you make it a habit of doing this exercise regularly, you will notice yourself feeling better as well as having your energy free up…which allows for you to be in “flow” and able to be inspired!

Namaste’

Jennifer

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