Have you ever noticed that sometimes, despite our best efforts and precisely laid out plans, life takes us on an unexpected detour and all of our plans go flying out the window?
People that know me often think that because of what I do for a living, because I have a lot of knowledge, experience and spiritual gifts, that I am some sort of a “guru”. They think that because, as I have been told frequently, I help so many people so easily that I’m different, special. But the truth is that I am just as human as everyone else…
I never set out to create a profession of being of service the way that I am. Actually, what I do for a living just came into my life on its own. But it is an amazing gift!
My journey began because I had some heavy emotional junk that I felt powerless to resolve. I was young, a teenager, and had a number of very traumatic events take place in a short period of time, and all of help that I sought wasn’t very helpful. So in light of that, I concluded that I had to look out for myself, and in order to overcome my own internal chaos, I would have to search and research and experiment and observe everyone around me so that I could find some answers.
Even in high school I had peers (some I knew and some that I didn’t know) coming to me to help them figure out how to solve their problems. Believe it or not, I even had one of the teachers come to me a few times a week to talk to me after his daughter drowned, because as he said, “After the loss of your father, I know you understand.”
I never set out to be that person though. All I ever wanted was to figure out how to get ME back, because after my father died, and I was raped, I was lost.
Once I started to learn more about life issues, and solutions, more people were drawn to me. I don’t even know if they knew why, but they would call or show up at my house, often in tears, asking if I could help them. I would share my thoughts, offer up some genuine compassion and encouragement and they’d be off, with renewed hope and a sense of direction. Later I would find out that they felt that I had “saved them” in some way. They believed that if it weren’t for my help, they wouldn’t have gotten through it.
I never really believed that without my help, someone wouldn’t overcome a struggle. I have always believed that people are capable of miraculous things once they are given the opportunity to shine.
Why am I telling you this?
Well for starters, I have found that over the years, despite my intention, I can not do everything on my own. That I, like most, sometimes need help too. Not that I like needing help, or even like asking, LOL, but I am human. And as I look back over the last 20 years of my life, I still find myself thrown curve balls that I didn’t expect. Having the knowledge and gifts that I have that help so many people doesn’t necessarily mean that I have all of the answers in my own life. My life is just as much an unpredictable journey as yours. Hopefully you won’t be disappointed to hear that you and me are not very different, and recognize that our similarities are what has equipped me to do what I do for people.
We do our best. We take what we believe and what we have learned and we try to make good decisions. We make plans, because plans are important to help guide us to what we want. We try to treat people fairly, trust, and forgive. And sometimes it’s just not easy. Sometimes, our emotional side gets the best of us and although we are usually good at ignoring or micro-managing our emotions, they take over.
And then there are those times that our inner spirit pushes us to do the opposite of what we originally wanted to do.
We had plans. We had hopes. And then Spirit comes in and says “You will be better off if you do it this way instead” and we are stumped. Why? Why do I have to change my plans?
Life doesn’t always go the way we want. But I have learned that even though our idea of how things should look isn’t always how they end up, we usually do get what we ultimately set out for. That even though our “plans” seemed sound, we didn’t imagine the bumps and bruises we’d get along the way. But we do usually get what we need, even what we want, even if it doesn’t arrive in the packaging we would’ve preferred. And those bumps and bruises tend to build character and compassion, and even appreciation!
I love helping people, but I did not plan on doing it for a living! And yet, I have been so blessed to connect with and learn from every single person that has come into my life. I value what I do, not because I want to be seen as someone “special” but because without people, love is limited in our experience. And to be able to work with people has allowed me to feel and be and express more love. And without you, I would’ve lost a learning opportunity for myself. Remember, the “teacher” is always a student, and every relationship serves both parties, myself included.
My biggest struggle in the last few years has been wondering if I was better equipped to help you than me. The more I learned, the more I was able to help people transform their lives, and yet mine seemed stagnant. It seems that helping others is often much easier than helping ourselves, right? But I have been fortunate, because every session I have done has given me direction into moving forward into my own life.
In my own life I am choosing to take a step back from some things and get some objectivity. I am learning to feel more, and to take better care of myself (the intellectual side of us is pretty good at avoiding the feeling side, isn’t it?). And in doing so, I am learned to get in touch with the ME that has been lost. And it has taken courage, perseverance and yes, asking for some help. And my plans seem to be changing. In fact, I am letting go of the old plans and staying open to whatever comes into my life for a while. My current plan is to not have a plan (which is a first).
I am inspired to surrender to my spiritual connection, and my faith. I am allowing the Universe to guide me, just as so many other people have been inspired to do in the last couple of years. I am getting out of my own way and allowing myself to be present with all of me, “the good, bad and ugly”. I release the need to try to control and predict, and I am now putting into action one of the greatest lessens I’ve learned…practicing self love.
Self love: Putting your Self first, while considering others compassionately.
My down time will be for me. I will be taking things day by day and open up to spontaneous experiences. And I will surround myself with people who lift me up. But most importantly, I will be taking quiet time to be with my feelings, to feel them. To validate them and to finally heal the old emotional wounds that have been waiting for me to be able to heal. This is all part of my journey. And fortunately, I have connected with many loving and inspiring people along the way. We all help each other.
Know that knowing you has also helped me. Thank you. You are not alone.
- Life doesn’t always turn out as we plan
- We can’t do everything on our own
- Spirit often guides us to “change” our plans
- We get what we need, even if it comes in strange ways
- Blessings often come from outside of our plans
- Everyone serves a purpose for people in their life
- Love is expressed more fully when we connect with people
- Feeling our feelings is essential for health and prosperity
- Not having a plan is sometimes a good plan
- Self love is a practice; SELF CARE is essential
*Magnifying glass pic courtesy of Keattikorn
*Wrapped presents pic courtesy of jscreationzs